My interpretation of life post placement

It was not long ago when I used to get up in the morning and have the choice to me to attend or not attend classes, to decide whether I want to go downstairs for breakfast or ask one of my roomie to get it for me upstairs, whether I would go shopping or watch movie in laptop, whether I would go online all day and play games on ibibo or do gtalk. But, I was not happy with it. I wanted to get placed and work. I believed it to be my passion. I was dying out of boredom when I used to stay the whole day at hostel, unplaced, I became frustrated and thought what a hell life was. God understood me, my desire and I got placed.

Then started my life as I wanted it to be. Get up early in the  morning, go to work, work all day like hell, come back (still unsatisfied) and sleep. By the time you go to sleep, you are so tired that you can't take the burden of anything, not even dreaming. You work whole week, like a bonded labor and eagerly wait for weekends, not because you would have fun then, but coz you would sleep and rest those two days. You would not have even come out of the weekly stress totally and you realize that it is monday again and you have to make it to the office.

I, at times feel, what is this life and my income, if I can't enjoy them. I earn reasonably well now, but all that I wish is time to spend them. Not by shopping like crazy (that is what I ideally do), but by giving myself time and the realisation that still I have not forgotten myself. The work and my schedule is taking me away from myself. The only moment I can give to myself is at night, when I finish my daily chores. But what moment is that? I don't even think of myself, rather I think how would I deal with  my assignment the next day.

Negatives apart, there is also good part of this kind of life and that is I earn. Whatever money, be it a big sum or a dime, I spend, I earn it. I no longer have to ask my parents or anyone for help in financial terms. That gives me the sense of self dependence, rather independence and I find my worries and silly criticisms of this kind of life worthless.

P.S: The author was frustrated after a hard day's work and "objective setting", an HR term. Bear with the post.

The woods and me..

“The woods are lovely, dark and deep;


But I have promises to keep

and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep”

As I lay all alone in my new Paying Guest accommodation today, these lines from my school poem comes to my mind. The poet, most probably was Robert Frost (corrections are always welcomed). I try to decipher the poet’s message in these lines and analyze how they suit to my life. It might appear a little insane, but who does sane things after being bored continuously, for like a week. The meaning that I chose to accept was as follows:

“The woods here refer to the woods which would be used when I fall asleep forever with no intention of waking up. They are lovely because they help me go to sleep, they are dark because I see nothing in them except peace and solace and they are deep, so deep that I have no chance of rising high enough to come back to the world. By promises, I infer, the promises which, I have at some point of time made to myself, my parents, friends, siblings and all other people. The miles indicate towards the way and path I have to travel to accomplish those promises and dreams before I finally decide to surrender myself to the woods”.

Well, my inspiration for even thinking of something like this is the movie “The Blind Side”. In the movie, Michael, interprets the poem “into the valley of death rode the six hundred” in such a nice manner that I decided to imitate him. His interpretation was somewhat like this:

“Courages are hard thing to figure. You can have courage based on a dumb idea or a mistake. But you are not supposed to question the dots or coach or your teachers, because they make the rules. Maybe they know the best, maybe they don’t. It all depends on who you are, where you come from. Didn’t at least one of the six hundred guys think about giving up before joining up with their sire? I mean valley of death, is a pretty salty stuff. That’s why courage is tricky. Did you always do what you are told to do.? Sometimes, you might not even know why you are doing something. I mean, any folk can have courage, but honor! That’s the real reason why you need to do something or you don’t. It’s all who you are and maybe who you want to be. If you die trying for something important, then you will have both honor and courage and that is pretty good. I think that is what the writer was saying. You should hope for courage and pray for honor and maybe hoping that the people telling you what to do have some too.”


P.S: I was supposed to post it in the first week of may, but since I work now and have a busy schedule it got delayed.